Stay
by fmjl11
Summary: Her foot tapped lightly on the linoleum floor as she waited for the elevator to arrive, in just 45 minutes her surgery would be starting and she couldn't be more excited. Her pager goes off just as the door opens and she's so busy reading the word on the screen that she doesn't even notice him right away. Lockdown?


**AN: This is an AU of 6x23, the shooting episode of Grey's Anatomy in which April and Alex are a couple and she finds him in the elevator instead of Mark and Lexie. Hope you enjoy.**

_Stay_

"Kepner, if you keep fidgeting all night you're gonna be to tired to even do the freakin' surgery tomorrow." Alex said, strong arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her against him. He brushed her hair to the side, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. "Relax." Three months ago being this close to him would have had the exact opposite effect, but now she only smiled, cuddling further into the man and allowing the rhythmic sound of his breathing to lull her into sleep.

Tomorrow was the day that she had been waiting for, Bailey had told her two days prior that she was finally going to get to perform her first solo surgery. It was only an Appy; nothing all that exciting, but to April it was the beginning of everything. It was the beginning of her real surgical career. The night before she could hardly contain her excitement, smiling as she thought it over.

XX

Her foot tapped lightly on the linoleum floor as she waited for the elevator to arrive, in just 45 minutes her surgery would be starting and she couldn't be more excited. Her pager goes off just as the door opens and she's so busy reading the words on the screen that she doesn't even notice him right away. Lockdown? Her stomach drops as she looks up from her pager, laying right in front of her in a pool of blood it Alex Karev. She drops to her knees instantly, repeating his name over and over as she examines the wound. "No exit wound, shit!" she's moving franticly, she has to get him out of here. "Alex, are you awake? It's me. It's April. I'm here. You've got to wake up for me, okay?"

He seems to stir out of his haze a bit, "That son of a bitch. He shot me." He mumbled.

"I've got to move you." She says, "It's not safe here." That instant the doors slid open and April's breath caught in her throat. The floor was completely deserted, a few papers strewn across the floor, and bodies, two or three that she could see. There was a gurney a few feet from the door, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to lift him onto it herself. Without a second to think about it she charged picked herself up from the ground and charged forward, grabbing the blanket off of it. If she couldn't lift him, she could at least try to drag him to a safer place. She couldn't just leave him here.

It took all of her strength but she was able to get him into a conference room, the redhead locking the door and closing the blinds behind them. "Alex, are you still with me?" she asked as she kneeled back down, wiping the sweat from her forehead with the neck of her scrub top.

"Yeah." He coughed out after a moment. She needed to get that bullet out, but they were on the outpatient care floor, they didn't have those kinds of supplies. She felt around the wound for a moment, she was almost positive she could reach it with a pair of forceps, their was a chance they might have some by the supply cabinet by the nurses station.

"Alex, I've got to go get some supplies, okay? We've got to take the bullet out." He shakes his head no and reaches out to grab her hand.

"Stay."

She blinks back some tears and slowly pulls her hand away. "I have to, and I'll be right back. I promise." She looks back at him one last time as she exits the room and makes a mad dash for the supply closet. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Thankfully it contained just what she was looking for, the girl grabbing all of the supplies she could carry before making her way back to the room.

His eyes were closed again and she shook him lightly, "I'm gonna take it out now, we're gonna get it out. You're going to be just fine."

He nods weakly and she uses one of the pads to clean up the area around the wound. "Bite down on this, Alex. You've got to be quiet." He does the best he can, a few screams still rip from his throat as she tries to retrieve the bullet. After what feels like forever she's pulling the metal object from his side, and he's breathing an exhausted sigh of relief. The bleeding doesn't seem to slow down and April's reaching for lap pads, trying to put enough pressure on the wound to at least slow it down.

20 minutes go by and she realizes that if she doesn't get him into surgery soon they're going to have some problems. She hasn't heard anyone walk by since they'd found refuge in the conference room, she'd have to get him back on the elevator. Then it dawns on her, she remembers the emergency training she's had, the first thing they do is cut off exits, surly they'd cut off the power to the elevators by now? Tears spring to her eyes and she presses her lips against his forehead. His breathing had gotten significantly slower with each passing minute. She relished the feeling of her lips against his skin for just a moment before she was up again and checking the elevator. Her heart sank when she pressed the button and realized that her suspicion had been true.

She rushes back into the room with a heavy heart, placing more pressure where blood continued to pool out of him. "April," he says, and she wouldn't be able to hear him except that her ear is already so close to his mouth. He's breathing hard, the one word enough to exhaust him and she strokes the side of his face gently. She wasn't sure when he even opened his eyes. "April, I… love… you."

She can't help the choked sob that escapes her lips. "Don't you dare say goodbye, Alex. You're not going anywhere… we're supposed to be together. Okay? Stay with me. You have to stay awake, baby, please." He's lost so much blood, and there's nothing she can do but sit there, and put pressure on it, and hope that someone will come soon.

"Kiss me." He says, and she wipes her tears off of her face and nods.

"I love you." She breathes, brushing her lips lightly over his and breathing him in. "You can't die, Alex. I need you."

All of the lap pads are almost completely red, and dripping, and she knows it's coming. The end, and there's nothing that she can do but sit and wait for it. She's a goddamn surgeon and she's sitting on her hands.

She can remember every moment, the exact way that he looked at her, tears in his eyes before he closed them and took his last breath. How not even a minute later the door opened and the SWAT team came in and told her that the floor was clear. How she had launched herself at them fists flying into someone's chest repeatedly before she collapsed onto the ground in a sobbing mess. Jackson holding her up, and keeping her from launching forward as they close the body bag and wheel him from the building.

She remembers going home to Mer's and locking herself in his bedroom. Crying herself to sleep every night for a month. Not being able to get out of bed for the funeral because she felt so guilty that she wasn't able to save him. The nights that she would swear she could feel him lying next to her only to wake up and feel her heart break all over again. And the worst day, the day that his pillows started smelling less like him and more like her.

It takes Cristina of all people to finally snap her out of this funk. She just barges into the room, says, "Fake it till you make it, Kepner. This isn't what he would have wanted." And walks back out. And sure, people have been telling her that for weeks, but this time it's different. Cristina's not trying to hold her hand, or make her feel better; she just says it like it's a fact. And she guesses it kind of is.

It's hard, getting up every day and knowing that he's not going to be there. Walking the hallways like nothing has changed, when it really feels like nothing will ever be the same. But every day it gets just a little bit easier, and she supposes that that's good enough for now.

**AN: If you're reading this I freaking love you. Thank you so much. Please review, whether you liked it or not, I'd really like to hear what you have to say. I'm not a doctor so any medical terminology has a 99% chance of being wrong. I'm sorry. I hope you liked it.**


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